A year and a half ago, our world was ROCKED! Like we were being stoned in all different directions. For me emotionally and for my husband physically and emotionally. You ever feel like everything is on fast forward but you are moving in slow motion? This is how it was. For me, it was like a switch. There was no time to fall apart. Now don’t get me wrong, when the doctor came out and told me it was metastatic Stage 4 cancer, all I could think about was…..OMG this not good. Then it was, ok, what do we need to do to get my husband back?

In my life, I’ve always thought I could handle anything. I’m a very independent person, even married. I didn’t need any help. Well, I am so thankful that I was not alone that day when the doctor told me the news. The first stone casted right at my heart. I didn’t know what to do. My husband has cancer. There were so many things running through my head…… is my husband going to die….. how much time do we have….. how do I tell our son….. what will our bills look like….and I still needed to call his parents.

Fast forward…… PET scans and tests showed his CEA tumor marker numbers (another term I quickly learned) were over 3700. Next was scheduling radiation, a port and then chemo appointments.and I would be there for 99.9% of all of them and still to this day. I was able to slide in a second opinion and that visit helped ease our mind some that they were on the same page with our local Oncologist.

All this with no family to help which is story for another day. Thank goodness for our friends. The saying “Family isn’t always blood” is true in our case. We are so blessed with the support we have had from our friends and especially our doctors! If it wasn’t for the Doctors making my husband a priority, I would probably be a widow right now.

10 targeted radiation treatments and it shrinks the tumor. We start chemo treatments and everything is going well. After 6 months of chemo his CEA numbers come down from 3700+ to 23.6! I mean, how do you not get excited about that! Until the next apt where the numbers increase and you know that it means the chemo is becoming less effective. You appreciate your doctor trying to lessen the blow but you know what it means. Your heart sinks. Together you cry and then you get back up and you keep fighting. You start another round of chemo and this one makes him feel so sick. It’s heartbreaking to hear your husband tell you that he doesn’t want to die. As he lays in bed I hold his hand and kiss his cheek with tears rolling down my face and tell him how much I love him and we are going to get through this together.

So up to Georgetown we go to see what they can do to save my husband. Not evey day is a good day and most days I feel helpless. We cry and we get mad but the one thing we don’t do, is give up. Even on the darkest days….we will never give up!

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