Our son is Gay. He finally came out to us a year ago. Did we know before that? OF COURSE! But we wait for him to tell us himself.
During his early teenage years we could see the struggle. I only asked him once and that was because my brother saw his profile on instagram and it said “Bi” so then he asked me and I asked my son…blah blah blah. His answer was, “No Ma, I’m straight.” It was a bit defensive mixed in with a little undecisiveness, so I said, ok and let it go, but not before telling him that it doesn’t matter to me what you are, I love you just the same. I just don’t want to be the last one to know.
A few years went by and and now he is in high school, sophmore year, and we could see the change but we waited for when it was the right time for him. Its funny because when he finally told us, it was he who was surprised. He was so stressed out about telling us that when he came out, we said Ok. His response was, “That’s it!” We told him, that we love him the same and it doesn’t make what his preferences are. The sigh of relief on his part for the build up of telling us…..all of that stress went away. I mean he actually thought we didn’t know. We are his parents…. Of Course we knew!
The conversations don’t stop there though. I have questions….. lots of questions. I had to strategically insert them in conversations though. It’s still a delicate subject and I didn’t want him getting defensive and shutting down.
You see, our son has never been with anyone. The closest he was to having a girlfriend was his 5th grade year but then they separated because of going to different schools their 6th grade year. That was a tear jerker because they had been together as best friends since 1st grade and he told her over the phone that it was best that they break up because there was the possibility of liking someone else. When I asked him if he liked someone else, he said no but I could. I just rolled my eyes and let it go because they are kids and they are too young to know what they want.
We did have a heart to heart where I told him to be sure of his preference because once he makes that decision and puts it out there, you can’t erase it and its hard to take back. He just looked at me. That’s typical of a teenager, right?! I’m just saying, if you have never experienced both, then how do you know. Well, he has decided that he has made his decision. I am just happy that he talks to me about it. Well, I thought I was. Maybe I don’t need to know everything…… I can handle him telling me about kissing a guy he is dating. I talk to him about sex and when he decides it is the right time that to please please practice safe sex. Always wear protection and make sure his partner wears protection. What I was not prepared for is him talking to me about hand jobs in the movie theater. 😳